A man is not old until regrets take the place of dreams.
America is the country where you can buy a lifetime supply of aspirin For one dollar and use it up in two weeks.
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional thing to happen to him.
Happiness often sneaks in through a door you didn't know you left open.
I am thinking of taking a fifth wife. Why not? Solomon had a thousand wives and he is a synonym for wisdom.
I would like to find a stew that will give me heartburn immediately, instead of at three o clock in the morning.
In Genesis, it says that it is not good for a man to be alone; but sometimes it is a great relief.
Hollywood is like the seven headed sea monster from the Bible. Or maybe it’s the actors. Each has at least seven personalities. I know I do.
Love is the delightful interval between meeting a beautiful girl and discovering that she looks like a haddock.
My wife is the kind of girl who will not go anywhere without her mother, and her mother will go anywhere.
Why is there so much month left at the end of the money?
